Would you like to have some Pussy?

"Pussy is the first truly premium energy drink. We have sourced the best ingredients to create a great taste and a natural lift. We believe in challenging the consensus – and moving things forward. Pussy is about natural energy, it’s irreverent, sophisticated and a pleasure to drink. Pussy is NOT about being serious, chemical energy, having a corporate attitude or being predictable." For more pussy talk, go here.

Pawpaw

Talk about funny names. The pawpaw is a native american fruit and name of a town in the state of Michigan. It is also often called 'prairie banana' because of its banana-like creamy texture and flavor. You can read, even, more about it, here. And more.

How wrestlers get their names

The sport of professional wrestling is punctuated with some of the more outlandish names in the history of branding. (For instance, the dashing fellow shown here goes by the delightful moniker 'Nacho Libre'!) In this post, I direct you to the riveting story behind another wrestling/er brand, the 'Rock and Roll Express'. And more.

"Have you ever wondered where some of the names wrestlers use come from? Well they can only come from two places. Either the wrestler gives himself a name or the booker/creative people do. In earlier times, a guy could get a name in 30 seconds. Now, it might take weeks to run copyright and trademark searches. The Rock and Roll Express didn't have to wait long. Click here for the story of not only how their name was arrived at but also their gimmick."

Speaking of which, who is your favourite brand of wrestler? Mine's, hands down, 'The Undertaker'. In fact, the mere mention of the name sends a chill down my spine. Talk about brand personality.

Cyclone Aila

Aila! Now that's what you call a funny name. Jokes apart, cyclone naming conventions are based on arbitrary lists of names submitted by various countries around the world. Maybe someday there will be a cyclone named 'Avinash'. That said, considering what 'Avinash' means, maybe not.

Addendum: Some dope on cyclone naming conventions that found in an aftersearch.

A women's magazine called XX

www.doublex.com.

A cricketer named Onions

How would you react if your dad had named you, Onions? I bet you would have thrown a tantrum. Or at best, lost some sleep. But Graham Onions has no such problems. His Allium Cepa surname might have come in handy in getting that extra attention from the Guardian and other newspaper hacks who revel in writing headlines like 'English selectors know their Onions'. Where he wouldn't have scored is - with women. It doesn't look good when you say: I am dating Onions. Right?

A perfume named 786

I've always wanted to use this name for a brand, but political correctness prevented me from doing so. But now I notice someone has picked this for an Arabic-Western perfume. I wonder if the mullahs might issue a fatwa 786.

What a bunch of sports

I work in sports. I used to be a sports writer. I still, on occasion, write a column on three on cricket. But, I'm no longer a paid sports writer (hey, I'm no hack). Does that exclude me from the hallowed clan of sports writers? I hope not. Because if there's one thing I love more than writing, writing blogs and writing other stuff that few people read, it's being offered up the opportunity to watch sport in the midst of thousands of passionately cheering fans and being asked to write about it. Throw in the myriad pleasures of travelling to different venues and I'd call it an perfect life. Almost. (What did you expect, perfect? Naah. Honestly, perfection is bloody boring.) As it is, I have a far, far, far from perfect life. So when I read something like this that makes me laugh heartily, it makes up, even if only momentarily, for some of the shit I have to endure on a daily basis. Here's a far from exhaustive list of really weird names for sports team. Enjoy. And, as always, feel free to add to it. (Don't know why I said that. Heaven knows no such thing is going to happen.) Image courtesy, www.faniq.com

Eureka, here's another Mysskin!

Mysskin, the director of Anjathey, didn't want to be one more Raja. So he chose to rename himself after Prince Lyov Nikolaevich Myshkin, the protagonist of Fyodor Dostoyevsky's The Idiot. Looks like, it has set off a trend in Kollywood. The debutant director of Madurai Sambavam is said to be a gentleman named Eureka! At this rate, Karunanidhi will have to soon announce a tax sop for those who choose Tamil pseudonyms.

A puppy called 'Condom'

Imagine this: You walk into a friend's place and you see that he's gotten himself an adorable little puppy. (Yeah, much like the one in the picture.) Naturally, the first thing you're going to ask him is what the little critter is called. He tells you it's called 'Condom'. Of course you do a double take and ask him whether he's serious. He tells you with a straight face that he indeed is. How comfortable would you be to call out its name? It's true. There is a puppy that goes by the name 'Condom'. And you can find out more about it here.

Would you shop at The Ridiculous Book Store?

That's the name of a Gulfport, Mississipi-based second hand book store. It's a provocation name that is meant to grab you by the gut. Either you like it. Or you don't. It brings to mind cheap pricing and a weird collection. When you see this shop sign, it's bound to intrigue you into the store. That's why, TRBS gets my nod.

Names that stuck

God Shamgod, Dick Trickle, Nathan Boob, Alexander Semin, Angry Anderson and some more of the best names of all time according to these guys. I'm sure you have your set of favourite names too. I'm also sure you won't be chartable enough to share them with us. As always, I look forward to being proved wrong. After all, as my friend and partner in crime Anantha says ... well, never mind what he says about me. This is about some really funny names I took the trouble to dig up and share with you. Enjoy. And how will all this help you come up with a great name for your company? Well, if you ask us we'll tell you exactly why these names make the kind of impact this other article talks about. Incidentally, can you tell me who the guy in the picture is? Trust me, going by the name, it's very guessable.

Frank 'Lefty' Rosenthal and other gangster names

I'm a huge fan of gangster names. (Don't ask why.) The reasons, if you still insist on asking me, are pretty obvious. What's not to like. They're distinct, they communicate the unique quality about a particular gangster and they make you smile. Attributes that are eminently useful to have in a brand name. Shown here, Frank 'Lefty' Rosenthal and his sisters. (Yeah, right.) He died recently. Here's a bit about him: 'GAMBLERS usually go on until they have run out of both luck and money. Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal went on until he was blown up. But then Lefty was not your usual sort of gambler.' For more on Lefty and his exploits, read the rest of his obituary here. Meanwhile, Googleji and myself have unearthed some links on what makes for a good gangster name. (You'll find them all at the end of this post.) They're instructive in that most of the qualities that go into making a good gangster name apply to product brand names too. Jokes apart, you could learn a thing or two about brand names from gangsters. And us. (Picture courtesy Getty Images.) Link love.

An Ale Named Arrogant Bastard

I am in love with this name. It's shameless, provocative, unpretentious, clear-headed and a swell choice for a strong tasting ale. It's a classic case study name that gives the brand an advertising story from day zero. The 'You're not worthy' tack wouldn't have bubbled to the surface if AB hadn't been picked. Launched in 1996, by California-based craft brewery Stone Brewing Company, this proudly bitter beverage has its share of devout gluggers. What they've bought into is part-product, part-imagery. And why won't they. Which egoistic sonofabitch wouldn't like to hang around with a brand like Arrogant Bastard? Picture courtesy: Wikipedia. For more on the brand, visit their website.

Congress Kadalebeeja

This CK (short for Congress kadalebeeja) Bun is extremely popular in Bangalore. It's a buttered, lightly toasted masala bun loaded with spicy, crunchy peanuts and quite yummy. Anyone has any theories on where the 'Congress' in the name comes from? Here's one I'm not so sure of. That said, it is very funny.

Naf said

Shown here, Ad for the Naf Naf Spring collection. The naf-naf is saying, "Pink is my fetish." Almost everybody knows the story of The Three Little Pigs and how the big bad wolf huffed and puffed and blew their houses away—all houses except one. But it seems that only the French named the little pigs — Naf Naf, Nif Nif and Nuf Nuf — and 35 years ago, brothers Gerard and Patrick Pariente decided to name their clothing store after the pig that built the house made of stone and survived the wolf — Naf Naf. Greedy for more? Go to the source.

I tell you, these fucking Chinese

A brand of condoms named after football ace David Beckham has taken the Chinese contraceptive market under its sway. Although the Beckham contraceptive is not being endorsed by the former England captain himself, its makers claim that the users will 'score in the bedroom like David does on the pitch'. (Actually, he doesn't score all that much ... on the pitch.) This brand now sells more than any other brand in the country. (Source: Google)

A gross name that doesn't stink

Pet odor/stain relievers usually opt for straightforward, off-putting names like Urine-Off and Urine Gone. But I liked this one. It rolls off the tongue well. It rhymes. And the best part is: it don't stink. A brand owned by the Four On The Floor company, this name surely has legs.

Why your baby needs us

Because when you leave it to the machines or people who think like machines (read: big name branding companies), this is what you are likely to end up with. That's why, to quote Unantha, "If you want a name for your company, brand, kitten or illegitimate child, do write to namasutra@gmail.com". Or else, you might just end up being shilled a bunch of names like Pistoer, Dlvil, Nlcleynde, Stenglad, Venj, Phaviker, Abeaerber, Lamorth or Zerkk for your baby. All nicely packaged in a powerpoint presentations. Of course.

Supernames for Superheroes

We love our heroes. (Some, a little more than the others.) My favourite is Batman. In fact, I prefer the name 'Dark Knight' to 'Batman'; 'Batman' just sounds ... well, batty. 'Dark Knight' on the other hand - besides being a 'second-level' name - is more befitting the caped crusader's exploits. (Don't you think?) All of which brings me to a list of 'Superhero' names this gent has lovingly compiled and categorized for us. It makes for interesting reading. In other related developments: I discovered I'm 'Chrome Cat'. What Superhero are you?