The Lions of Lanka

The tigers and leopards in Tamil Nadu are growling in anger four years after the annihilation of the LTTE in Sri Lanka. The belated outburst of manufactured rage has been further fanned by political hyenas hoping to checkmate the old foxes in the cynical game of one-upmanship. Buddhist monks are being mindlessly targeted. Friendly cricketers not spared. And Rajakapaksa’s republic has been hastily branded as an ‘enemy country’.

But there is still hope. The soldiers of this peaceful war against Lanka are students. So, to uncover the devious game of the politicians, all they need to do is to study a little history before demanding a slice of geography.

And history tells us that the Lankans are not aliens out to exterminate Tamils but descendants of our very own Indian blood. The first king of Ceylon, Vijaya Singha (the Singha that gave rise to Singhala or Sinhala), was widely believed to be from Simhapur, which happens to be the modern-day Sihor in Bhavnagar, Gujarat. The Karavas, the second most dominant Sinhalese group, draw their roots back to the Kauravas of Mahabharatha! Theravada Buddhism, the lead religion in Sri Lanka, was exported to the island nation by King Ashoka’s children Mahinda and Sanghamitra.

Even the names used by its people owe its origins largely to Sanskrit. I’ll demonstrate it by decoding some famous surnames. The Jayawardene in Mahela Jayawardene means ‘one who promotes victory’. Sangakkara aptly translates to ‘the group’s leader’. Ranatunga, the spearhead of the world cup victory, amazingly works out to ‘chief of war’. Herath (remember, Rangana Herath?) is synonymous with ‘Shivaratri’.

Samaraweera is ‘war hero’; Tillakaratne is ‘gem of the necklace’, Wettimuni is ‘sage who can perceive’, Jayasuriya is ‘victorious sun’, Mahanama is ‘holy name’, Kaluwitharana is ‘truly a gift’, Chandana is ‘sandalwood’, Taranga cues ‘sea waves’,  Kapugedera implies ‘protector from torrent’ and Kulasekara, ‘god of the commune’.

Let’s analyse surnames of leaders. Rajapakse connotes ‘loyal to the king’. Premadasa ironically suggests ‘servant of love’. Bandaranayake spells ‘storehouse captain’ while Kumaratunga alludes to ‘chief’s child’. Despite all these linguistic, historic and genetic linkages, if we continue to perceive the Lankans as adversaries, then we deserve to be consumed by the beast of hatred.

The Butchers in Baggy Green

Bleeding Down Under is an experience, not particularly unique to women. Legions of overseas cricketers who’ve crossed swords with the mighty Australians in the striped battlefields of The Gabba or WACA will vouch for this embarrassing haemorrhage.

Dhoni’s Boys have suffered the same bloody indignity in Melbourne and Sydney. Perhaps the time has come for BCCI to add tampons to the cricketing gear of our hallowed stars. Else, Perth might provoke more mirth about the Agneepath-turned-Ughneepath series.

To be fair, a meaty portion of the credit for the all-round-mauling should go to Cricket Australia for assembling a squad of surgical butchers who relentlessly sliced, diced and cleaved through the veins, nerves and arteries of the hapless Indian XI.

You’d be fascinated to know that the knockout performance of the proud baggy greeners was foretold by their names. The fearless David Warner was destined to be on the front foot as his name meant ‘beloved warrior’. His partner Edward Cowan (meaning: wealth protecting commoner) makes the perfect foil as he was prognosticated to be defensive in nature. Ricky Ponting (Strong power bridger) was prophesied to be the ever dependable link between generations. The selfless sagacity of Michael Clarke (Learned like god) can be attributed to the wisdom embedded in his moniker.

Mike Hussey (Master of the house) stamps his authority on most matches because he was baptised so. Brad Haddin (Broad blossoming hill) hasn’t yet bloomed into a Gilchrist due to the ‘work-in-progress’ aspect of his surname. The heartlessness of Peter Siddle (Stony wide gap) in squeaking through the bat and pad was forecast when his dad decided to christen him.

Likewise, Ben bailed out the Aussies as Hilfenhaus translates to ‘Helping House’ in German. Fast bowling spearhead James Pattinson (Noble supplanter) who replaced injured pace sensation Pat Cummins in the New Zealand tour, didn’t let down his captain as the script was written when he was named!

Don’t you find the performance-lies-in-the-name theory intriguing? The acid test for it could rest with Ryan Harris (little home ruler). If his etymological roots are anything to go by, I am afraid we can kiss the series, a gory goodbye.