Double Whammy With Triple X

Except for the likes of Rahul Gandhi and Rakhi Sawant, not many Indians lose sleep over their carefully-cultivated brand image. That’s why a lot of us still upload unphotoshopped, unflattering passport-size photographs with oily hair, untrimmed mousch, dishevelled shirt, plastic smile, yadda yadda yadda to matrimony sites. Looks like, we’ll have to drop our don’t-give-a-damn stance soon. Because come December 6th, the top level domain name XXX will go public.

If you’re wondering how that’s gonna affect you, consider this scenario: Let’s say you’re single and more-than-willing-to-mingle and your name is Beemboy Beemboy. For a moment, let’s also assume that you’re trying to charm a chick into saying ‘I do’. Just when you thought, you’ve impressed the girl with your hard-earned credentials and cheesy SMS-forwards, what if she decides to google you? And what if, horror of horrors, she discovers a porn site called BeemboyBeemboy.xxx? Won’t that be a big turn off?

That’s the worry, the honchos at ICM Registry, are hoping to ride on, to milk additional revenues from the .xxx domain name. Their game plan is simple. 69% of humanity wouldn’t enjoy the prospect of being perceived as porn stars. So people would pay anything to block the possibility of perverts abusing their names!

Tapping into this insight, ICM Registry has made an offer, no one can refuse: ‘Pay up $150 to $300 and we’ll ensure no one books YOURNAME.xxx.’ If you ignore this offer, you get jacked. If you take up the offer, you may have to cough up a few hundred bucks. Either way, the Triple X Company will guffaw all the way to the bank. And you will end up getting jibbed. Wicked trap for the aam aadmi. Wonderful business plan for a start up.

India isn’t aware of this double whammy yet. Ash wouldn’t want an AishwaryaRai.xxx right? Maya Memsaab would throw a fit if she sees Mayawati.xxx na? AnnaHazare.xxx would cause a national unrest, will it not? So my gut feel is a lot of Indians will opt for a Triple X. Even if 0.1% of our nation succumbs, ICM will pocket an orgasmic $150 Million for doing nothing!