Name Game # 1

OK guys. Years ago, I formulated a game called sigma 26. I am going to use a small portion of that game to drive interest in brand names. I shall be, putting up word grids, now and then. The word grid will contain a brand name. The black square will contain the sigma score for that brand name. For the uninitiated, the Sigma Score is nothing but the sum of numerical equivalents of alphabets (assuming A is 1, B is 2...Z is 26). The first puzzle is as follows. For aiding you, I've given the last alphabet. Just identify the brand name.



Post your answers in the comments section. The first to get it right, will be the winner.

A cigarette named Parliament

While I was rummaging through odd ciggy names, I came across Parliament - a charcoal recessed filter cigarette from Altria. Apparently it's been in existence since the 70s. I wonder how our MPs would have reacted to this brand. Especially Anbumani. Would it have made our netas, the butt of all ridicule? Would it have lent a new meaning to 'Joint Parliament Session'? Would it have added more colour to cliches like 'the zero hour was a drag'? Whether this cigarette would have smoked out your lungs or not, it would have surely lightened up our pun-starved political columns.

Praja Rajyam gets my vote

Actor Chiranjeevi's party's blockbuster launch took place, last week. The crowds were choreographed. Larger-than-life promises were made. And a new political potboiler was scripted. Everyone with a telugu connection has had their say on this issue. I felt a little left out. So here I am with my gongura-laden kilobytes...

Praja Rajyam or People's Rule is an interesting choice. It has the ring of an NTR movie. And is easy on the mouth (just 4-syllables as compared to Telugu Desam's five). The name is not limiting in any way. It will work in Andhra, Rayalseema or Telengana. And even if the party becomes a South Indian force tomorrow, Praja Rajyam will still work. That cannot be said of Telengana Rashtra Samithi or TDP.

Another interesting aspect of the name is it captures the dream of every AK-47 wielding naxalite. The party symbol (red sun), the ideology (poverty eradication)and colours (green & white) only add to the leftist aura.

The only goof up that was done was no one bothered to check if the name has already been registered with the Election Commission. One Cudappah lawyer had actually applied for Praja Rajyam, a month ago. But thanks to some pow wows, this issue has been amicably sorted.

Overall, given the constraints of the political canvas, I think Praja Rajyam is a decent name. The short form PR sounds infinitely savvier than Vijaykanth's DMDK or Karunakaran's DIC(K).

One syllable brand names

I've put together the list. I am sure there are many more.
Counting on you to add on.
Axe
Bose
Cray
Dell
Elle
Fa
Fox
Gap
Getz
Go
Golf
Halls
Hanes
Ice
Inc.
Jang
Jet
Kay
Ken
Key
Lee
Maa
MAD
Mars
Max
Mexx
Moods
Next
Nyle
Oak
Off
On
One
Ox
Oz
Ponds
Qube
Red
Rin
Shell
Sil
Skype
Sprite
Star
Sun
Taj
U
Veer
Veet
Wii
Xing
Yale
Yes
Zod!

In my estimate, Sprite is the longest 1-syllable brand name. If you can contest this and offer an alternative, gr8!

Air Deccan shown the Red card

The deed is done. Air Deccan has been given a decent burial by Vijay Mallya. After splurging millions of rupees in renaming Air Deccan as Simplifly Deccan, the liquor don cum politician has now opted for Kingfisher Red. If the idea was to create a Kingfisher sub-brand, I wonder what was the tearing hurry to settle for the interim Simplifly option. Anyway, from a branding point of view, it's not a bad choice. Red is the colour of the common man (or so say the commies). Red's the hue of KF's uniform. Red also happens to be the shade of Coke. Who knows may be Coke might be served for free to all ye who fly Kingfisher Red. Knowing Mr. V, he might launch a new beer named Kingfisher Red. Whatever marketing tactics the Kingfisher dudes may deem to employ, they must remember that Red also cues bleeding. Let's hope for their sake Kingfisher Red doesn't cause a financial haemorrhage.

Gyaan: Can brand names influence shopping?

Research shows that a 60-milli second exposure to a brand name can influence a shopper into making a choice. This hypothesis has been proven to be true especially for known retail brands. I guess, the key is to have a distinctly defined image. In India, a Lifetsyle still sells the same kind of brands as a Shopper's Stop. So brand images get blurred. But if you flash a Saravana Stores and a Lifestyle, a 60-milli second decision might happen :-)

Gyaan: How a trademark can help

A brand name or trademark is the one big asset any company can create at any point in time. Lawrence Rosen has patiently explained the advantage of trademarking in the context of open source software. Give it a good read if you wannabe up to scratch on the value of a trademark.

10 nice excuses for killing a nice brand name

Hey Mr. Name Nemesis, the next time you want the sadistic pleasure of burying a nice name, don't forget to use one of these excuses...

1. I dunno how they will pronounce it in Sub-Saharan Africa.
2. I liked that name. But 10 out of 9 people I asked, didn't seem to share my opinion.
3. Research says it's one syllable too long.
4. I get this feeling I've heard this name before. Anyway, we'll ask the lawyers to do a double check. Meanwhile, gimme one more option.
5. It'll make a good name for a condom. But our category is a little more corporate.
6. I agree it's a decent name. But it's a little too serious for our category. Can we have some more fun?
7. Oops, I should have told you. The name is not numerologically compliant with my wife's lucky number.
8. I hear it means 'Horse's Piss' in Esperanto slang.
9. Will the man on the street in Jhumritalaya be able to understand what it means?
10. I like the first half of the name, can we do something with the second?

Airport names that fly

The CIA fact book says that are 32124 airports in the world. Most of them are named after the cities or towns in which they are located. Quite a few are named after politicians who wished to leave an unmistakable imprint on the world map. Honestly, I nearly fell asleep while poring over these names. Most of them were downright unimaginative. The powers-that-be clearly don't understand the power of having a good name. Imagine landing in a Saurav Ganguly Airport or an Illayaraja Airport. Won't that do more to the tourism than the politician-pleasing, utterly forgettable names that have been palmed off to us? Think about it. Meanwhile, take a look at some very interesting names that piqued my curiosity..

Red Dog Airport Alaska
Pablo Picasso Airport, Malaga, Spain
Neil Armstrong Airport, Wapakoneta, Ohio
Batman Airport, Batman, Turkey
Needles Airport, Needles, California
Eureka Airport, Eureka, Nevada
Leonardo Da Vinci Airport, Fiumicino, Italy
Blue Ash Airport, Cincinnatti
Blue Grass Airport, Lexington, Kentucky
John Lennon Airport, Liverpool
Rogue Valley Airport, Medford, Oregon
Louis Armstrong Airport, Kenner, Louisiana
Red Bluff Airport, Red Bluff, California
Federico Fellini Airport, Rimini, Italy
Robin Hood Airport, Doncaster, UK
John Wayne Airport, Santa Ana, California
Charles M Schulz Airport, Santa Rosa, California
Nut Tree Airport, Vacaville, California
Marco Polo Airport, Venice, Italy
Copernicus Airport, Waclaw, Poland
Uranium City, Saskatchewan, Canada
Zero Airport, Ziro, Arunachal Pradesh
South Indian Lake Airport, Manitoba, Canada
Galileo Galilei Airport, Pisa, Italy

Clearly, the Italians, Californians, Canadians and Englishmen know a thing or two about naming airports. May be, we should learn from them. The Zero Airport was the only one that caught my eye in India. Are there any more hidden pearls? Do share.

A load of crap

If the F-word could be appropriated by a brand, the BS epithet can't be far behind. Here's how different folks have used this foulese to raise a stink...









Of the lot, I think The Daily Bullshit has enormous potential. Especially if recycled as a spoofy tabloid printed on toilet paper.

Ivana Humpa Lotta Fagina

Austin Powers got away with some really cheesy, over-the-top character names. But I like cheesy. So here's my collection of movie character names greased with liberal servings of parmesan...

Fooq Mi & Fooq Yu (Goldmember)
Robin Spitz Swallows (The spy who shagged me)
Ivana Humpalot (The spy who shagged me)
Alotta Fagina (International man of mystery)
Felicity Shagwell (The spy who shagged me)
Pussy Galore (Goldfinger)
Xenia Onatopp (Golden eye)
Mary Goodnight (The man with the golden gun)
Plenty O'Toole (Diamonds are forever)
Honey Ryder (Dr. No)
Domino Derval (Thunderball)
Holly Goodhead (Moonraker)

Why no one names their kid, Kid.

Elementary, my dear vatsan. If a boy were to be named as boy and a girl as girl, the world will be a big yawn. Clients somehow never seem to grasp this concept. Otherwise why would anyone name a mobile store as The Mobile Store? Why would the guys who give us our pay cheque, insist on generic options that cue nothing more than the category? I've had many battles with persistent suits on this issue. And they never seem to get one thing into their airheads: people are not morons. They'd rather connect with something more than the mind numbingly pedestrian.

I am only 95% against generic cues in a name. Generic works best when you have zero advertising budget. Take blog names like Nama Sutra. To get the attention of strangers like you, I have to cue the category. I'd have never opted for this name, if it were my naming company.

There is another scenario in which generic names will work. It will work brilliantly when the whole world opts for the exotic. For example, when you have a million hindi sounding names, when someone uses a surname like Doctor, Pilot or Screwwala, it really stands out, doesn't it?

Brand names that start with Z

Z Talc
Za Production
Zabar
Zabel
Zabita
Zabki
Zabudova
Zachem
Zachodni Bank
Zada
Zadak
Zadar
Zadi
Zadkine
Zaffire
Zaft
Zag
Zagiel
Zagope
Zagorka
Zagreb
Zagu
Zahbuu
Zaiks
Zain
Zak!
Zakona
Zakopane
Zale
Zalubski
Zama
Zaman
Zamba
Zambo
Zambezi
Zamex
Zamora
Zam Zam Cola
Zanaflex
Zanga
Zanosar
Zantac
Zanzibar
Zapak
Zapata
Zapotian
Zapper
Zara Tapas
Zarontin
Zaroxolyn
Zarya
Zavoli
Zazoo
Zelapar
Zeborg
Zebra
Zebrafish
Zee Tv
Zellers
Zemaira
Zemplar
Zen
Zena
Zenapax
Zend
Zender
Zenetti
Zenith Computers
Zeno
Zenon
Zeppelin
Zephiran
Zephyr
Zerex
Zerit
Zermat
Zerno
Zero (Coca Cola's)
Zero G
Zero B
ZerOne
Zeronis
Zest
Zestoretic
Zestril
Zeta
Zetia
Zetor
Zeus
Ziac
Ziagen
Zida
Ziebart
Zieglar
Ziess
Ziff Davis
Ziggy
Zigma
Zikamine
Ziko
Zila
Zillo
Zima Cola
Zimmer
Zinecard
Zinecef
Zing
Zions Bank
Ziploc
Zippo
Zip up
Zire
Zishi
Zithromax
Zits
Ziva
Zin
Zlatodar
Zmax
Zname
Znap
Zocor
Zocord
Zod!
Zodiac
Zoe
Zoel
Zoey
Zofran
Zogbi
Zokes
Zoladex
Zoll
Zolinza
Zoltek
Zomba
Zombie
Zomet
Zometa
Zomig
Zonda
Zonegran
Zoner
Zoneto
Zooh!
Zooka
Zoom TV
Zoot
Zoppas
Zorba
Zostavax
Zoundlab
Zovirax
Zuari Cement
Zublin
Zubr
Zuglo
Zuken
Zulu
Zummer
Zunda
Zune
Zuni
Zurab
Zurdok
Zurich
Zuritel
Zuse
Zuzia
Zwan
Zwei
Zwick
Zwilling
Zwitsal
Zyban
Zygo
Zyklon
Zylab
Zylet
Zylo
Zyloprim
Zyma
Zymo
Zync
Zyntac
Zyprexa
Zyrtec
Zyuki
Zyvox
ZZ Top
Please feel free to add to the list...

Reebok & Maan Mark Kudaigal

When I was younger than younger can get, it was quite fashionable to name brands after animals. That's why, you had the Tiger Balm, Jaguar, Mustang, Camel Cigarettes, Lion Dates, Red Bull, Happy Cow, Bison Inner wear, Puma & Cheetah Fight matchsticks. The reason was simple. The beast in question has certain instant positive associations. And would be very easy for visual recall in a language-neutral environment. But why have people stopped naming brands after animals? Have they? I think it's back in vogue. Apple's Mac OSX variations are named after big cats - Panther & Leopard. BTW, I just realised that two unlikely brands have the same origin. Reebok is an African deer. And Maan is the tamil deer. So, a global and local brand opted for the same logic. One chose the name for sporty gear and the other for umbrellas. Do you know of any more such parallels?